From the Archbishop Of Banterbury to Banthony Hopkins, banter culture comes with its own rich lexicon of puns (some markedly better than others). That’s all well and good but where do we draw the line, and when does having a bit of a laugh descend into toxicity?
One-upmanship with mates is seen as fair game and it blurs the boundaries. Chatting with close friends, we’ve all wandered into territory that we’d probably consider uncomfortable in different company – and it’s unlikely we’ve been called on it. It’s accepted that there’s an element of jest to it, and an element of trust too. Would you want the contents of your WhatsApp conversations laid bare?
While there may be a shift underway in male-dominated professions, it’s an incredibly slow process. It’s ground we’ve covered before, but the fact is that things have to change at a fundamental level to create an environment that’s welcoming to all.
Language in the trades is a great example of this: “white van man”, “out with the lads”, “I’ll get one of my guys to do it” – the truth is that potentially none of these phrases hit the ear wrong if you’re a bloke. They roll off the tongue easily enough too, and they’re almost certainly not used deliberately to exclude anyone. Ever was it so.
It isn’t easy to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand why those terms don’t sit right. There’s no offence meant. You treat people on their merits, not based on gender, race, creed or colour. You’re not part of the problem, and it’s not your fault if the world’s full of delicate little snowflakes desperate to take exception to every little thing. People just need to man up and grow a pair, right?
Maybe we need to take a breath and listen for a second. Listen when someone says they feel belittled, undervalued or even threatened because of who they are; listen when our words or actions have a negative impact on those around us; listen when someone points out that inclusivity is about more than giving someone a chance – it’s about giving them a safe and secure environment in which to take that chance.
The reason for this (unapologetically) preachy rant? Generally, because this is an issue that isn’t going away. Specifically, because we had an email from Stopcocks relating to a couple of recent incidents on social media. As we’re a family-friendly website, the exchange below has been redacted somewhat – but the tone of what’s being said should be pretty obvious.
Mica May from Stopcocks explains.
“[This example] happened in a plumbing group on Facebook… Once reported, we’re pleased to say the admin took prompt action and apologised for not having seen the comments already.
“This is not about growing a ‘thicker skin’ or ‘banter’. Why do women even bother to continue in the industry when this is a daily occurrence? Strangely, we love it, and get on with most of the men, but it’s time for the good guys to stand up and be counted.
“When you do, we won’t need to have our own groups where we can get support for dealing with this vileness every day, so that we can continue. And also, we really want all householders to feel safe. In fact we want to work in an industry we can be proud of, and are working to make it that. Don’t you?
“We know that our industry has a terrible mental health record and a high suicide rate; it isn’t just women who struggle with ‘sucking it up’. When we come together and support each other we can change this, and perhaps encourage more men and women to join it.
“Strangely, in another FB group for tradeswomen the question was asked of what the members like best about it and several of the women said how much they love being there for the guys who are struggling. We’re only asking for everyone to receive more respect – apprentices as well as experienced men, women and those who prefer not to say.”
Stopcocks National Register of Tradeswomen
Crowdfunding is underway for the Stopcocks National Register of Tradeswomen. Mica explains the thinking behind it.
“We had time to pause during lockdown and to consider what we want to achieve in this industry. Many people will have seen or heard the Panorama programme about the horrific increase in violence against women and children in their own homes during lockdown. We may not be able to change that, but we do understand that those women might want to choose a tradeswoman to come into their home to carry out repairs. Many others, for all kinds of reasons, feel the same and deserve the choice.
“We’ve set up a new not-for-profit company that will link tradeswomen with householders who’d like the choice of a tradeswoman. At around 1% on the tools, we’re not easy to find, and the new register will actively go out and find a tradeswoman if she exists, even if she isn’t on the register.
“More than that, we intend to actively increase the numbers of tradeswomen with training courses for women. We know from research carried out by WaterSafe that around 38% of women ‘would choose a career in trades if they had their time again’. That percentage of women is not making it into the industry by a very long way. So we’re going to do something about that.
“And, since a significant number of women who train in trades are older and have families to support (quite often on their own), we’ll provide help with funding where we can, so they can feed their kids, pay the rent and also improve the quality of their lives.
“We sincerely hope and intend that some of those women who initially choose a tradeswoman because they’re genuinely afraid to have a strange man in their house are inspired by those great role models and decide to join our ranks, so we’re going to make the route easier.”
You can add your support to the Stopcocks National Register of Tradeswomen at www.crowdfunder.co.uk/national-register-of-tradeswomen